Monday, February 18, 2013
My husband wants me to completely turn you down.
“You snooze, you lose.”
He feels I gave you enough of a chance
two years ago,
and you didn’t act upon it.
Said it was to a point
where I was chasing you.
He doesn’t think that’s the way you treat a friend,
let alone a lover.
He’s willing to share, but not with “fools”.
After ignoring me, he considers you a fool.
Your loss – his gain.
March 31, 2003
Emotional Black Hole
An emotional black hole;
The more energy you put into taking care of her –
The more energy she requires.
Resentment builds just at the thought
Of restarting the cycle.
I was a child having to act the part
Of an adult.
Now I’m an adult and my mother
Still insists on playing the role of child.
When will she realize that this relationship
Never cultivated love?
March 29, 2003
Surprisingly, I was talking about this last night.
That was not expected
And further shows the irony of our timing.
Any other time I’m hoping for your attention
But no,I get it now
After I’ve committed
Every moment for the next three days;
When I have borrowed babes
When I have widowed mother and a birthday
dinner to take care of;
A dinner for my husband
to meet one of my past boyfriends,
When I have roots showing
And ten pounds to shed,
When the past mires my mind again
And I need to find my way back again.
Now you want me?
Lover, you’ll have to wait.
March 28, 2003
Perhaps you wouldn’t have loved me anyways
But I will never know.
Never know if things were different,
That I may have captured your heart
The way you captured mine.
Never know why,
After fourteen years,
Why I’m writing a love poem
To someone who is still basically a stranger.
March 18, 2003
Moment of Rape
Maybe the problem is thatI’m always stuck in the month;
those two weeks that held my heart
and choices captive in two different polarities.
Those two weeks,
years ago, that finished the savage
taking of my innocence;
my body at the cost of my life
my life at the cost of my heart
my heart at the cost of my hopes.
You weren’t who I wanted to love
and yet I do –
someone who doesn’t want me.
He didn’t want me either –
just wanted to hurt someone,
hurt them to their core.
How complete the hurt,
a moment I still cower in.
March 18, 2003