Saturday, November 16, 2013

Hardship

Hardship

During the first crash,
stockbrokers and their investors
having been stripped of all
jumped to their deaths.

In New York, I once watched a Jill jump
or rather a Jill fell.

The 5th floor of my new building
is based with a ground cushion;
plantings that would treacherously soften the impact.
One could easily get carried away, live another day.
No way to make it to the sidewalk
unless one really threw themselves, took a running start,
threw their arms in the air as if to catch it;
an albatross with broken wings trying to fly.

Ariel
Nov 7, 2013

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Borne Fruit

I can feel the muscles and tendon
peeling off my heart,
like an orange;
fingers digging in,
scrapping off the white of the rind.

The snapping off and losing
feels like there is blood oozing
from every raw abrasion.
Perhaps this is how skin is turned into leather;
the chemical burns,
the scraping,
the drying out,
chewing it again so it is pliable -
soft again as if not dead.

I don't want to say your name out loud anymore;
I'm struggling dealing with the damage that ensues.
Each time I think of you,
there is a dull plunk, as something pulls away;
my heart, this pulpy mess,
misses you.

Ariel
Nov 13, 2013

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Trip with Nana


Trip with Nana


Toria,
Mommy said “No, no, no, no, no . . . “
To going to see Bucky Horse with Nana.
There’s no money in it;
Nothing to be gained.


Ariel
April 19, 2003

Waiting for a Response


Waiting for a Response


Waiting for a renewed response, searching
Through email hoping for your erst-while attention

Psychics, psychologists, spells & books
Searching among strangers for advise & direction.

Testing and Probing on the fringes
Searching for the secret to your affection.


Ariel
April 7, 2003

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Granted


Granted


Milord
I take you for granted -
you and your love.

You care for me in
cooking, car work, calling;
more than I do myself.
It doesn’t go unnoticed
only unrecorded;

and at the end of every day
you are lying by my side


Ariel
April 2003

Monday, February 18, 2013

You Lose


You Lose
 

My husband wants me to completely turn you down.
“You snooze, you lose.”
 
He feels I gave you enough of a chance
two years ago,
and you didn’t act upon it.
Said it was to a point
where I was chasing you.
He doesn’t think that’s the way you treat a friend,
let alone a lover. 
 
He’s willing to share, but not with “fools”. 

 After ignoring me, he considers you a fool.
Your loss – his gain.
 

Ariel
March 31, 2003

 

Emotional Black Hole


Emotional Black Hole
 

An emotional black hole;
The more energy you put into taking care of her –
The more energy she requires.
Resentment builds just at the thought
            Of restarting the cycle.
I was a child having to act the part
            Of an adult.
Now I’m an adult and my mother
            Still insists on playing the role of child.
When will she realize that this relationship
            Never cultivated love?
 

Ariel
March 29, 2003


Surprisingly, I was talking about this last night.