Granted

Granted

 

Milord,

Take you for granted

You and your love.

 

You care for me in

            So many different ways,

            More than I do myself.

It doesn’t go unnoticed

            Only unrecorded,

 

And at the end of every day

            You are lying by my side

 

Ariel

April 2003

You Lose

You Lose

 

My husband wants me to completely turn you down.

“You snooze, you lose.”

 

He feels I gave you enough of a chance

two years ago,

and you didn’t act upon it.

Said it was to a point

where I was chasing you.

He doesn’t think that’s the way you treat a friend,

let alone a lover. 

 

He’s willing to share, but not with “fools”. 

 After ignoring me, he considers you a fool.

Your loss – his gain.

 

Ariel

March 31, 2003

 

Emotional Black Hole

Emotional Black Hole

 

An emotional black hole;

The more energy you put into taking care of her –

The more energy she requires.

Resentment builds just at the thought

            Of restarting the cycle.

I was a child having to act the part

            Of an adult.

Now I’m an adult and my mother

            Still insists on playing the role of child.

When will she realize that this relationship

            Never cultivated love?

 

Ariel

March 29, 2003

Surprisingly, I was talking about this last night.

Invitation

Invitation 

That was not expected

And further shows the irony of our timing.

 

Any other time I’m hoping for your attention

But no,I get it now

After I’ve committed

Every moment for the next three days;

When I have borrowed babes

Underfoot,

When I have widowed mother and a birthday

dinner to take care of;

A dinner for my husband

to meet  one of my past boyfriends,

When I have roots showing

And ten pounds to shed,

When the past mires my mind again

And I need to find my way back again.

 

Now you want me?

Lover, you’ll have to wait. 

Ariel

March 28, 2003

Dreams - a senryu

Dreams that I can see

Are only to show what I

Will never achieve.

 

Ariel

March 28, 2003

Never Know

Never Know 

Perhaps you wouldn’t have loved me anyways

But I will never know. 

Never know if things were different,

That I may have captured your heart

The way you captured mine. 

Never know why,

After fourteen years,

Why I’m writing a love poem

To someone who is still basically a stranger.

 

Ariel

March 18, 2003

Moment of Rape

Moment of Rape

 

Maybe the problem is that

I’m always stuck in the month;
those two weeks that held my heart
and choices captive in two different polarities. 

Those two weeks,
years ago, that finished the savage
taking of my innocence;
my body at the cost of my life
my life at the cost of my heart
my heart at the cost of my hopes.

You weren’t who I wanted to love
and yet I do –
someone who doesn’t want me.

He didn’t want me either –
just wanted to hurt someone,
hurt them to their core. 

How complete the hurt,
a moment I still cower in.
 

Ariel

March 18, 2003